Should I really join Facebook? (priceless)
A good laugh for people in the   over 50 group !!!  Also for those who know people like us.

When I bought my Blackberry I thought about the 30-year business I ran with   1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos,   pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook,   so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could   communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as   simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree,   Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and   something that sends every message to my cell phone and ev ery other program   within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything   except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to   live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost   every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in   a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it’s red] phone I am supposed   to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and   Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at   me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that   gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.   Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-calc-u-lating.”    You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely   tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a   U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was   not a good relationship.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross   streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS   lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless   phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t   figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around   digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry   baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time   I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something   themselves but this sudden “Paper or Plastic?” every time I check   out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to   avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, “Paper or Plastic?” I   just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.”  Then it’s   their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was   recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot.”


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